Identify the Sunk Costs
Sunk costs are all of the non-refundable ways that you’ve paid (in time, money, suffering or energy) for something. You know you’re dealing with a sunk costs problem if you ask: “If I let go, what was it all for?”
- If I ______________, what was all the _______ for?
- If I forgive her now, what was all the anger for?
- If I conquer my fear of heights, what were all of the missed opportunities for?
- If I stop holding that grudge, what was all the bitterness for?
- If I close my business down, what was all the struggle and sacrifice for?
- If I quit this job, what was all the hard work for?
- If I give up on him coming back, what was all the waiting for?
- If I let go now, what was all the tension of holding on even FOR?
What was it all for? Well, sometimes it was for healing. Sometimes it was for growth. Sometimes it was what the circumstances were at the time, but they’ve changed now. Sometimes it was just a whole lot of wasted time with no rhyme or reason.
In any case, those minutes, hours, days, months, or years are a sunk cost. Are you going to continue to sink more time and emotional resources or are you going to cut your losses and move on?
Calling it quits is
your empowered choice.
Say Thank You
If the healing is done, say thank you for the healing. If this phase of growth is over, say thank you for the growth experience. If the circumstances changed, say thank you for the change. If the waste of time can be over, say thank you for the realization that you can let it go.
Who are you thanking? You get to choose:
- Yourself,
- God
- The universe
- Circumstances
- The other people involved
- Someone who helped you
- Your awesome luck
Being grateful is
your empowered choice.
Choose Again
Choose what you want from the now moment, not from what should have been or what you should have done years ago.
- Sit firmly in the moment and ask yourself: “What do I want now?” or “How do I want to be now?” or “How do I want to feel now?”
- Once you’ve responded as truthfully as you can, ask yourself: “Is that possible now?”
- Finally, ask: “What’s one small step I can take in the general direction of that desire?”
Now, can it happen that you identify what you want and it’s not possible now? Yes!
- You might want to forgive but your body is still stewing with anger. In that case, if you really do want to forgive, you choose it even if you don’t know how to get to it. That moment of choice is when the forgiveness begins.
- Or it could be that the desired outcome is literally impossible. Changing your height, bringing back a deceased loved one, or being a teenager again if you’re thirty-five are all impossible. But feeling beautiful, finding new connections, and feeling youthful are possible. So, if the desired outcome is impossible, or even “impossible”, find the underlying desire and choose that.
Moving from where you are in the direction you want to go? That’s your empowered choice, too.