When you take the leap, of course it’s going to hurt.
It’s going to hurt your ego and your comfort zone and your heart. It’s going to hurt like hell. It’s going to be the most difficult thing you ever did.
Your demons will surface to fight you.
Your own body will writhe with pain and resistance. Your own mind will work against you and bare its teeth and fangs in a fight to its death.
Your whole world will push against you.
Everything you thought you knew will come crumbling down upon you. Your heart will shatter. And when you’ve been beaten down and bashed and tussled and tortured for days, months, years even, when you have nothing else to give, when the rubble is so thick that you can see nothing but darkness, the miracle happens.
And you know.
You stand in the same place and yet the universe has transformed. Everything is exactly the same and yet strangely different. It’s as if a metaphysical film has been peeled off every surface.
It’s as if a veil has been lifted, as if reality is glowing. Life is brighter somehow.
Your body remains intact, your day goes about its business. Time doesn’t stop but your relationship to it does. You float through days and situations and temptations that only recently filled you with dread.
You stop, sit back in amazement at all the brilliance you’ve been missing and actually talk to the beautiful custodian who is changing the trash bag in your office. You peel a ripe, juicy kiwi as if it were a miraculous gift, which of course it is. You listen to music with your soul. You step into the grass and walk with no destination. You chop vegetables and write poems and vacuum the living room carpet and climb mountains and nurture relationships with the same love and devotion that you devote to everything.
Because, as they say, how you do one thing is how you do everything.
Do it with love.
Being willing to be a little bit less than you can be in the ways of the world while being everything that is metaphysically possible in the ways of the spirit.
Will there be bad days? Of course.
Will there be days of doubt and trials and tribulations? Only when it’s time to grow.
But every day, you can choose to hide underneath the rubble or to step out of your own shadow.
Every day, you have the choice to embody gratitude by skipping, dancing, loving your way through this tiny little speck of existence, so small that it’s almost nothing, so perfect that it just might be everything.
You don’t need anything else. You don’t need a bigger house. You don’t need a boat. You don’t need to lose weight. You don’t need anything.
You don’t need to write a book. You don’t need to think that relationship to death.
You don’t need to do anything.
Stop. Take a day off and don’t think. Don’t read. Don’t talk. Don’t worry or plan or ruminate.
The irony of course, is that the moment you allow yourself to just be, inspiration strikes and soul takes over.
And true growth takes off again.